Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
