I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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