I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
