the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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