Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry xoxobrittlesoxox hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?

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(515): View more from Iowa

He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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(415): View more from California

Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?

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(315): View more from New York

she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese

(630): View more from Illinois

MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE

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