Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
