he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
