Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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