I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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