Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
