eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
