what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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