Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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  (714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn
  Replies (9) Good night (1992) Bad night (546)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2334) Bad night (603)
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  (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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  (818): my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you http://tfl.nu/x2i9
  Replies (30) Good night (5908) Bad night (923)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.

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  (630): I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me. http://tfl.nu/s161
  Replies (71) Good night (4187) Bad night (1789)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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  (712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4
  Replies (15) Good night (723) Bad night (5254)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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  (609): you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it http://tfl.nu/ioqt
  Replies (16) Good night (5939) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

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  (310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54
  Replies (9) Good night (4794) Bad night (712)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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  (989): I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/82ko
  Replies (10) Good night (1100) Bad night (3846)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8409) Bad night (1161)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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  (202): I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast http://tfl.nu/11fz
  Replies (13) Good night (1974) Bad night (1153)
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  (+35): View more from

  I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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  (+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai
  Replies (7) Good night (2330) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands

  (1-510): View more from California

  Tgat was the small dick alert

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  (510): Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands (1-510): Tgat was the small dick alert http://tfl.nu/0ham
  Replies (6) Good night (2184) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2749) Bad night (648)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode

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  (956): Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode http://tfl.nu/5ugf
  Replies (1) Good night (179) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.

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  (847): This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends. http://tfl.nu/w6fi
  Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (381)

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