Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.