Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.