im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver