I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
