Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?

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