Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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(301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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(401): we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother http://tfl.nu/h33i

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(949): View more from California

...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail

(949): View more from California

ps not my toothbrush awkward.

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(949): ...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail (949): ps not my toothbrush awkward. http://tfl.nu/7ox1

Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (1915)
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(770): View more from Georgia

FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot

(770): View more from Georgia

Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.

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(770): FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot (770): Your boyfriend has good rhythm though. http://tfl.nu/p3nu

Replies (15) Good night (4957) Bad night (413)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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(215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy

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(216): View more from Ohio

whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework

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(216): whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework http://tfl.nu/56zr

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(315): View more from New York

You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?

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(315): You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery? http://tfl.nu/9jay

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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(202): He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common? http://tfl.nu/fh8y

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(540): View more from Virginia

Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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(540): Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman. http://tfl.nu/z7nz

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(425): View more from Washington

please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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(425): please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr http://tfl.nu/rnxk

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(315): View more from New York

He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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(315): He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like. http://tfl.nu/nq61

Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (2957)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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(573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy

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(540): View more from Virginia

(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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(540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y

Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (396)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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(785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d

Replies (9) Good night (1469) Bad night (433)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.

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(575): Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/2cr4

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