i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN