dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
