My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.