Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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