I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
