Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
