I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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