Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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