I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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