Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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