dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I love you.
Bad choice
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