Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
