I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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