dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
