Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
