At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
