THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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