I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
