Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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