she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize