Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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