between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
