I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
