i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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