If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
