Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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