OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
