I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
