You made me cry and you don't even care
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
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