if you like me you must not know who I am
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
