The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
