Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
