Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
