whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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