That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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