mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm getting married
To pizza
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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