How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
