I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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