I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
