yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
nutella sex= disaster
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
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Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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