I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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