Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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