I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize