the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
