You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
