Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
