Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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