I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You're like the curious george of whores
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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