week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
