she smelled like a LAN party
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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