He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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