Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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