Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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