dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
